Burn After Reading V

Fernway, Russia, Ireland, and White House cats.

Welcome to the fifth edition of Burn After Reading! This is my newsletter on cannabis (and other things). You can check out last week’s issue here.

This week’s Cannabis Confidential is all about Fernway, one of the most successful cannabis vapes companies in Massachusetts. I get into some of the more technical details surrounding vape tech, and also talk about Fernway’s new custom vaping device. Check it out!

Also, a reminder: Check out my piece in Different Leaf Magazine! You can find it all over the country, including at most Whole Food checkout lines. Although, at the reasonable price of $20 a year for four issues, you might just want to grab a subscription.

---

The Guardian did a deep dive on the Russian connections to Boris Jordan, who is the Chairman of Curaleaf.

Let’s be real: While xenophobia has occasionally reared its ugly head in the West during the Russia’s war on Ukraine (does banning Russian athletes from Wimbledon or the Boston Marathon actually accomplish anything?), it’s not prejudice to assume that a guy who made millions during the fall of the Soviet Union has some skeletons in his closet. Boris’s bromance with Putin may have ended years ago, but let’s not act like that guy only became evil when he decided to invade Ukraine.

At risk of a massive libel lawsuit from Boris shutting down this newsletter, I’ll leave it at that. Plus, it’s not as if Curaleaf is the only MSO with sketchy investors from the former Soviet bloc.

---

Newsflash: Robots still suck at growing weed. This piece at Stratcann gets into some of the reasons that mega-greenhouses built by some of the largest cannabis companies in the world failed in Canada. It also covers what some of the more successful growers in Canada are getting right (namely, hiring enough actual employees to tend to the plants).

---

We now jump across the pond to ask: What the hell is going on in Ireland?

Longtime Irish cannabis activist recently Martin Condon received a two month suspended sentence for possessing a single gram of CBD flower. This happened to come one day after Martin gave a presentation to the Oireachtas (Ireland’s parliament) on the very subject of how the government should handle laws regarding small possession of drugs for personal use.

The arrest came a few months ago, when Martin handed in a single gram of CBD glower to the Police, in protest of the closing of a shop that was selling CBD flower. Ireland’s law allow for the use of CBD in manufactured products, but CBD flower remains illegal.

While many countries in Europe seem to be on the verge of legalization, Ireland remains sadly behind the times. Recreational use or cultivation remains very illegal, and access to medical cannabis requires case-by-case approval by the Minister for Health. To make matters worse, the Garda (Irish Police) are free to set up road checkpoints in Ireland, where they conduct random saliva tests on drivers. Stiff penalties are enacted on anyone with cannabis in their system (despite the fact that cannabis can linger in your saliva long after the intoxicating effects are gone).

As the sole English speaking country in the European Union, Ireland is in a unique opportunity to be an access point for US/Canadian cannabis companies to the EU marketplace. But with their junior health minister conducting secret meetings with anti-cannabis doctors, it doesn’t seem like that will happen anytime soon.

---

Upcoming New England / Virtual Cannabis Events.

• July 21st: ShoreFest by South Shore Buds.

  • 10AM-6PM. 985 Plain Street, Marshfield, MA. Free.

• July 28th: Greatest Hits Adult Use Comedy at Andy's Neighborhood Canteen.

  • 7PM-10PM. 9 Frederick Street, Webster, MA. $20 (or free with purchase at Greatest Hits).

Got an event you wanted listed here in a future issue? Email me.

---

Welcome Distraction of the Week.

Hot Fuzz.

If you have yet to see this 2007 British action-comedy, you are missing out. This is quite possibly my favorite comedy movie of all-time, and I notice something new about every time I watch it.

Made by the same minds by Shawn of the Dead, this film follows Nicholas Angel, a London police officer who is demoted to the countryside after his bosses deem him to be too effective and efficient.

Is this movie “Copaganda”? I don’t believe so, but you watch it and decide.

Hot Fuzz is available for streaming on Hulu, and available for purchase on a number of different platforms.

---

Cat Picture of the Week.

Willow!

Can we take a second to lament the decline of the White House cat?

I can’t claim to remember much about the Clinton Administration (I was 9 when it ended), but I do remember Socks. Whether he was taking control of the government or taking an early peek at his Christmas gifts, he was undeniably a charismatic fellow. He made frequent appearances in the media, and was even the subject of a video game entitled Socks the Cat Rocks the Hill, where players had to guide Socks past an army of spies to inform the President that the nuclear launch codes had been stolen. (Somehow, the game went unreleased until 2018)

Meanwhile in the present, does anyone even know that Biden has a cat? Despite the desperate need for good PR in the Biden Administration, Willow has seemingly been confined to the White House solarium.

Starting her life as a barn cat, Willow cuddled up against Jill Biden when she was speaking at a farm in Pennsylvania, and the couple later adopted her. Since then, Willow has mostly been MIA.

I join the ever-growing chrous of people demanding that Biden do something, and in this case, that ‘something’ is him showing us more pictures of his cat. Uncage Willow!

---

That’s a wrap on this issue. Thanks for subscribing! If you have any suggestions or feedback, email me here.