Burn After Reading VI
Cannabis adventures in Maine, Swimming with Senator Angus King, Big Papi, and more.
Welcome to the sixth edition of Burn After Reading! This is my newsletter on cannabis (and other things). You can check out last week’s issue here.
In this week’s Cannabis Confidential, I finally got to experience buying cannabis from Maine’s caregiver program, which basically involved pulling up to someone’s house and buying homegrown weed in their driveway.
I know what you’re thinking while reading all that: “Yes, yes, the policy stuff is interesting, but how was the weed?”
So here’s some quick reviews of my purchases.
I bought five different types of flower at 1 Mil in Belfast. The Super Silver Haze was the best of the bunch. This strain was all over the place when medical first launched, but has become harder to find over the years. The only thing that was a disappointment was the Big Blue Cheese, which smelt like straight hay. But at $5 a gram, I can’t complain too much.
I also got a vape cart while in Belfast, a 510 “Oleoresin” cartridge of some Mandarin Cookies, made by Tastefully Baked. It was indeed very tasty, and about 2/3rds of what it would cost in Massachusetts.
At Uncle Pete’s Sweet Releaf, I got 4 different types of flower. The NYC Sour Diesel was a name I hadn’t heard in a long, long time, and it’s been my favorite of the bunch so far. That being said, I’ve been happy with everything from Pete.
You know what else happened to me in Maine? I took a swim with Senator Angus King (at least, I’m pretty sure I did).
I’m not a huge fan of Maine’s beaches. As John Hodgman so eloquently put it, “If you naturally believe you don’t deserve happiness, the beaches of Maine are for you.”
Eventually though, the heatwave broke me, and a dip in the ocean became necessary. As I was slowly inching my way out into the frigid water — navigating the painful rocks, seaweed, and occasional dead crab — I noticed an older man with a mustache heading into the water next to me at a much swifter pace.
“It’s not as bad once you get out there,” he said as he flew by me, repeating the ancient lie that we all tell each other about freezing cold water.
At this point, I realized the guy looked exactly like Senator King. I almost asked him if he was indeed Angus, but decided to let him enjoy his swim. I didn’t have much to follow up with even if was the Senator.
He met a lady that was already out just past where the seaweed ended, and they swam around for about 15 minutes before leaving. By that point, I had almost made it up to my neck.
After getting back to the cottage, I pulled up a picture of King and asked my partner if this guy looked like the guy we just saw at the beach. She confirmed that it did. We then looked at pictures of his wife, and she looked exactly like the lady that was swimming with him.
So was it actually him? I guess I’ll never know. I swear it was, but I also feel like Maine is the type of place that Angus King could win third place in an Angus King look-alike contest.
I guess it would have been cooler if it was Steven King, but I’m just glad it wasn’t Susan Collins.
It’s finally official: David Ortiz is jumping into the cannabis industry.
I had heard rumors years ago that Big Papi was launching a brand with Rev Clinics, but these plans were seemingly delayed by the attempt on his life back in June 2019. Now that he’s a Hall of Famer, he’s made the news official.
My main gripe with this is that he partnered with Rev Clinics, a company that sued the City of Cambridge in an attempt to stop them from limiting recreational cannabis licensees to Economic Empowerment applicants for a period of a few years. The company then got really weird about it with Dan Adams, the Boston Globe’s cannabis reporter.
The company was also fined $120,000 by the Cannabis Control Commission in 2020 for selling tainted vape cartridges.
Fellow haters are also pointing out that the flower used in the Sweet Sluggers blunts is just the same strains that Rev has been growing beforehand. The only thing that makes it unique is the packaging and the use of a wrap instead of rolling papers.
All of this aside, I’m not above trying one of Papi’s Sweet Sluggers. Maybe smoking one will make it a less painful experience to watch the 2022 Red Sox attempt to play baseball.
He’s also really missing out by not producing his own “Designated (one-)Hitter” that looks like a baseball bat. Call me, Papi.
Tilray announced their Q4 earnings this week. The Canadian cannabis mega-corporation lost $457.8 million last quarter, with a $434 million net loss for its 2022 fiscal year.
Don’t worry though! While Tilray’s Canadian operations are losing market share, the company expects to generate up to $4 billion in revenue by the end of 2024, “depending upon federal (cannabis) legalization in the U.S. and Germany.”
The problem with this? There’s little chance of federal legalization happening by 2024, and Germany hasn’t even announced the regulatory scheme that will govern their future legal cannabis industry.
Will Tilray be able to grab a large share of Germany’s marketplace from a regulatory perspective? Will they be able to compete in a market where they’ll have to meet the strict GMP regulations of the EU? Will the products they specialize in even be legal under Germany’s rules? Will the war in Europe or other potential disruptions impact Germany’s timeline? And is there any reason to believe that Germany’s rules won’t be as strict (or more strict) than Canada’s, which Tilray complains are “unreasonable”?
It’s impossible to know any of this point at this moment in time, but that won’t stop Tilray from telling investors that Germany is their golden ticket.
The end of the legislative session of July 31st is rapidly approaching, and yet the Legalization 2.0 bill still hasn’t made it to the Governor’s desk. Tick, tock, people! Reach out to the State House here.
New England / Virtual Cannabis Events this week.
July 29th: Each One Teach One: Seed-To-Sale: Networking Mixer and more.
6PM-8PM. Nubian Gallery, Boston. Free.
July 29th: I'll Take The Tech by Let’s Talk Weed.
5:30PM-9PM. Western Front Cannabis Dispensary, Chelsea. Free.
Got an event you wanted listed here in a future issue? Email me.
Welcome Distraction of the Week.
Super Mega Baseball 3.
If you miss the good old days where the defensive shift hadn’t been invented yet and baseball video games were simple and arcady, Super Mega Baseball 3 is the game for you.
The controls are simple to understand but difficult to master, and the game is super customizable. While the game doesn’t feature MLB teams or players, some of the names of the fictional players (Beefcake McStevens, Joseph Broseph, Rip Dingers..) will keep you entertained.
Super Mega Baseball 3 is available on a number of consoles. Electronic Arts recently bought the studio responsible for SMB, and a fourth edition is expected to be announced soon.
Cat of the Week.
Lala!
Speaking of video games, you’ve probably heard about Stray — the new game where you play as a cat in a futuristic walled city that’s devoid of humans. The protagonist feline is voiced by the real life Lala.
Now, I haven’t founded anything outside of this one tweet that actually confirms that the pictured cat did indeed provide its voice for Stray, but other publications are assuming this is true, so I will too!